The Men of Steel

So Im sitting here listening to the Oceans Twelve soundtrack and wondering how the hell am I going to get past this part of NS.

Ive gotten my new batch of men under me, and theyre so disciplined it sets standards so high for me. Its like I have to keep on my toes 24/7. I hardly slept more then 6 hours a day this past week, thank god for christmas.

Oh and anyway, merry christmas dudes and dudettes, guys and gals.

Mr Jie

Haha, I love it when americans think my last name is Jie, since their last name is really at the last part of the name.

Hello Mr Jie, she said. lol

I cant even begin to tell you how hooked i am on Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. So much to do, so much to unlock!

So much has been happening recently. I think Ive decided that Im gonna study at MDIS, which, purportedly, Ris Low studies at. Maybe I can make friends with her so she can make me laugh everyday with her finglish(fucked-up english)! What a joy ride that would be!

See, youre not the only person who can coin retarded words!

Strength

Today was a tough day. Waking up, I felt a abysmal sense of loss, of the seemingly never-ending maze that is NS. We all have these moments, when our emotions just take a nose-dive one day and we feel that everything we do in life is like a 2.4km run that adds 2.4km to the distance every time you thought youve reached the end.

Ive always known, and am glad for the people that I surround myself with. Sometimes when we run out of colour, they always seem to paint the picture of life just fine being as they are. With the exception of the incredibly retarded and useless Mr Lam that Ive mentioned before, the people I bunk with are really not that bad.

Come to think of it, when the new men come in, how are we going to explain to them that third sergeant lam yi rui is useless and cant do anything right?

21

I can still remember on my 20th birthday I was outfield digging my shellscrape and it was around 12 oclock. This friend of mine walked up to me and said happy birthday, and gave me my only present of my 20th birthday, which was a packet of milo. That packet of milo was the best packet of milo I had ever tasted.

This time, on my 21st, what I had was quite a bit of pain. The kind of pain youve been running away from but now you have to face. Quite the event huh.

Got a nice model of an audi R8 for myself and had myself a nice lunch with the Dear. I must must must recommend P.S. Cafe's "PS Burger Club", which is like a sandwich with wagyu beef, cheddar cheese in between bread that tastes and feels like pizza.

I Fucked My First Man!

Well, for starters lets explain how in the army, when you say youve been fucked or that you were fucking someone usually its synonymous with "scold", or "reprimand", so Im definitely still 100% virgin oil, and lets further define "man" as someone of the rank Corporal and below, so Im definitely not a fag.

Ive been a third sergeant for like a few months now, and I havent exactly scolded anyone or came even close to raising my voice at anyone in a manner where I pulled my rank. This because it just isnt my nature to, and because its so much more fun manipulating and machinating their actions and watching them scurrying to do what you want enthusiastically, instead of controlling them through fear alone. Sure, its takes a bit more effort, but much more satisfying.

Youve Failed To Beef It Up

So the auntie at my fav beef store in sun plaza is closing shop. Where else am I going to get huge chunks of beef, rice, veggies and soup for fricking 4.50?

And there goes my regular status haha. I could go stand in the queue and not order anything, and the auntie would know which one I want, cuz I always order "liu hao", or "number six".

I didnt say goodbye. I hate goodbyes even more then I hate hellos.

Burden Unloaded

Some of you may know that I am an archer. Or at least was one. I stopped shooting in the late poly days.

My bow set has since been languishing in the corner of my room. Ive been thinking for a long long time that I should be selling it, or at the very least, give it away. So I left a note on NYP's archery clubs' blog's chat box that I was giving away a free bow and sure enough, someone approached me.

I met him and passed it to him. He mentioned how sweet it was (which I felt was a teeny weeny bit homosexual for a guy to say that) and that he was just wondering how he was going to get the money for the bow.

For one thing, Im glad to be rid of the bow, but for another, I think, its a reminder how we should keep giving. Be it a $200 bow set or a bunch of unused clothes.

Maybe it feels a bit weird that someone like me should preach about something like that, but it only adds an element of hypocrisy, at the very most; it doesnt make what we should be doing any different.

Like, Finally.

After 3 or 4 years of unwavering service, my Diamondback mouse is finally dying. I was sorta beginning to think that this mouse would last me my entire lifetime, which I wouldnt mine cuz it is such a joy to use it.

Razer products really set the standard for gaming peripherals huh.

Bloody CEPAS Shit

If I lost ten thousand brain cells everytime I had to remind myself that I have an extra $3 in my ezlink card, in a few millenia or so I should be able to sue the fuckers for the complete theoretical loss of an organ equivalent to the mass of one brain.

For the whole month of september, I saved 10 dollars. :(

Anyway, I just found out that the artist who did my tattoo for me passed away in a motor accident 11 days after I did my tattoo.

Such a strange coincidence that my tattoo reads "How will you be remembered?" and that my birthday is on the 11th day of the 11th month of the year.

So like what, I jinxed him? Haha! But in all seriousness, brian gave me such a good impression in the short time I knew him. So pleasant and soft spoken... hmm.

The Most Repugnant Little Shit Ever

There is this guy I know, who is the most useless, STD-ridden fleabag Ive ever seen in my life. But knowing life somewhere down the road there'll be someone even worse.

I want all of you to know Lam Yi Rui. Thats his name, and my Disgust for him is so great that it warrants a capital D, as well as the fact that I bother making a post just for him.

Do any of you know someone who goes to shit without toilet paper, then going to bathe immediately after to wash the shit away? I can just imagine the shit trickling down his legs.

Oh not forgetting he has STDs. Hes got these little red spots that form nice little colonies around his hips. Quite a convenient place to have them, if you ask me. So like, youre too poor to buy toilet paper but you have money to buy cigarettes and prostitues. Okay....

So then how about a 21 year old male who acts like a bloody kid and acts cute like a girl? Im not even going to go into that.

Sometimes in life, there are people whom you look at and think to yourself if he/she dropped dead in front of you, whether youd even bat an eyelid.

I wouldnt, for this pig.

Dont really mind if he reads this too, cuz goddamn, its time to change or die. Hopefully the latter.

Good Will Hunting

has to be the best movie ive watched this year. Yes, I know it was 1997 that it was made, but goodness, what have I been missing out?

Anyways, I think I yawned a bit too hard and sprained my jaw and now it hurts to eat. Wtf right?

Inked!

Ive gotten my first tattoo! I was always the willing canvas without the picture, and now finally the piece is done! Its a small one to get the ball rolling (cuz they say getting tattoos are addictive) and thank God it was a small one cuz I was already crying like a bitch omg.

Its like a getting an injection without anesthesia, and once the needle is in the artist sorta drags it along the length of your skin. I can swear to you, I could feel him tracing the length of every fucking alphabet across my skin. It took maybe 20 minutes tops, but by god it was like 2 hours!

SURPRISINGLY, surprisingly the colouring wasnt as painful as the outline of the word cuz I believe my nerves were already dead.


"How will you be remembered?" is basically a question which sums up everything you have achieved in your life, everything you have done for everyone else and everything you have done for yourself, because these are the things that people remember you by.

The best thing is that since its not a statement, it doesnt have to be something I feel at any point of time in life. I just have to change the answer to the question and let it remind me of what Im here for everytime I look at it.

Hot Water

I like how when you feel so shitty and feverish, and you stand in front of the shower and the lukewarm water caresses your skin and it feels like it wants to devour you.

Never does your skin tingle with such excitement and your heartbeat quickens as during sex.

So awesome!

Thought that I could spend the weekend fruitfully buried in some book, but fucking hell, sick again.

Lawrys Prime(?) Rib

So I went to Paragons Lawrys with salted fish for dinner for an early bday treat. Must say, its nice being treated like a king, and damn I could get used to it ;)

The waitresses/waiters introduce the dishes to you before they serve it, and they serve it just beside your table. There was this spinning salad bowl or something, where they put a bowl on ice and spin it around while dripping dressing into it at the same time and it all mixes very well but dont ask me whats the difference between this and tossing the salad!

The service is really top notch, but it can get quite irritating cuz when youre trying to have a private convo with your friend and they keep coming and coming to do this and that and this and that lol!

The steak, mmm yes the steak is quite good. I had the standard prime cut medium well (or was it medium rare?) and I certainly didnt expect the entire slab to be like bloody. The medium well Im used to is the jacks place type; Crispy on the outside and soft and red on the inside. I guess that means I have to fine dine more!

Salted fish had her set dinner, with some cut (cant remember what) which was just like that, crispy and soft.

We took pictures, but they turned out lousy cuz it was kinda dark and I looked sunburnt :(

Over!

Finally the bloody Army Open House is like, OVER. I am soooo sick of carrying bloody kids up into the gun and onto the commanders seat (which is like, pretty high up if youre only three quarts of a meter tall).

Then there were the bloody chinese nationals asking their bloody chinese questions in frigging chinese god fucking chinese. How the hell am I supposed to know how to explain the ammo loading and/or firing mechanisms in bloody chinese?

I told them we put zha dan into the barrel, but my friend later told me its zi dan instead. So basically Ive been telling them I put bombs into the barrel instead of bullets, but who the fuck cares? I mean, the idea of explosions are quite universal right? hahah! As long as you get that when I fire the bloody gun someone dies, it doesnt matter what I put inside, does it?

LOL!

And since Im on the subject of language, Id just like to say that omg, I cant stand the dumbfuck CEOs on the news who must be like, millionaires but cant speak english for nuts.

I mean, if you take the effort to dress smart and look smart, you might as well sound smart as well.

Its like, if you hear a china-man whos an ASTAR scholar speaking broken english compared to an average person who can speak decently, youd think that the china man was a dumbass wouldnt you?

I mean, of course your opinion would also be slightly swayed simply by the fact that hes a china-man, but you get what I mean right?

Koreans!

Haha this is so funny! Some dumb american must have made this and its all totally incorrect but still so stupid and so funny!

HOW DARE THEY!!

How dare Nutrisoy offer all these reduced sugar crap drinks (and Kickapoo too) and force us to drink it! Okay well theyre not really forcing like coercing force, but its the only bloody version out there.

What makes them think they know my nutrition better then I do? I dont pay the same price for you to put less sugar inside you fucktards I want my sugar back! Your drinks taste like cum from someone with STDs (which probably taste just like the original variety, only with STDs)!

So infuriated omg might as well be drinking bloody tap water.

Burglars Use Facebook, Twitter To Find Targets

http://www.cnbc.com/id/32592311

You Scold Me, I Make You Lose Your Job (Hopefully)

Date: Tuesday, August 25, 2009, 8:44 pm
Thank You : Ben Wong ( grimidea@hotmail.com )
Attention: Events & Operations
Message:
Hello, I am a long time customer of Rapture, as I have been gaming for a large part of my life and have taken part in various competitions organised by RG, which, I might add, were all impeccably organised and I have always admired the direction that RG has brought the gaming scene of singapore to, and I have to say you all were always the spearhead of making cybersports where it is in SG now.

However, RG recently organised a VBS2 competion for army peeps, where an incident happened which may, I fear, have irrepairably damaged my image of RG.

During a match with the units 21SA playing against 39SCE, I was using my own Razor Diamondback mouse, instead of the default one provided at Gamehaven. I had permission from my lieutenant, who had in turn gotten permission from a higher authority to do this. During the games we had several incidences of disconnections and/or server crashes. I was later made to understand, in a very impolite manner, that the usage of my mouse was what had caused these disconnections, and was threatened with disqualification should I ever repeat what I thought I had gotten permission for. Not wanting to cause any trouble, I accepted the marshal's point of view on the matter, although I must admit Im quite confused as to how my mouse could have caused the crashes.

I have since brought the matter up with my officer, and it has been resolved amiably, ending with me simply having to accept that I can no longer use my mouse. This is understandable, since rules are rules, but the reason why I write this is not to pursue the matter but to prevent further reoccurrences of such situations where the customer may feel a irrevocable loss of respect for such a great organisation.

I thank you for your time.
Ben ;p


In case you were wondering, when he saw me removing my mouse, he said," NO WONDER LA!" with referrence to the disconnections. This was followed by," If you ever use your mouse again, Im going to dee que you."

Wow, see the marshal is so cool. He cant even say "disqualify". Hes gotta say "DEE QUE". Lets tango, bitch.

Army Open House

This past week was like a dream. I took leave, off, leave, off and I was almost not in camp the entire week.

Now I come back and find out Im doing the static displays for my Primus in the Army Open House. So please tell your friends to tell their friends to tell their friends NOT TO COME so that I can have an easier time. Tell them theres a ugly jackoff whos doing the displays (which there is, and no fuck off Im not referring to myself) to scare them all away.

;)

J.P Has A Car!

JP isnt Japanese Porn, its Jasmine Phang! And yes shes got a car (even if it belongs to her father)!

She was sweet enough to offer to drive us all to fuckn pasir ris for tyrones bday, but what really struck me was how she replied when we were driving along the highway, and ch was goading her along the path to speeding.

Of course, Im partial to a bit of cheap thrills now and then, but what she said in reply is something I really liked. She said "I never speed when Im driving with friends one."

If there was a Best Statement Of Responsibility Of The Month Award, this would be it.

MENSA Is Full Of Shit

Can you believe you have to PAY to enter mensa? No its not enough I owned their simple sample test (which I think, if you cant get full marks you shouldnt even bother trying), I have to GO DOWN PHYSICALLY to do their test.

So essentially, you pay around 50 bucks for a years membership to do.... what? Go volunteer to do sai-kang, play chess with fellow nerds and bullshit like that? That isnt even worth like $10 to join.

Come on you should be begging me to join! LOL


Nice ego-stroking post ;p

8.22

All it shows is that singaporeans are mostly like me. I dont give a shit about singapore. Its just a piece of land thats really nice to live on, but Im not going to die for it. No-ones gonna stand up like a retard for the pledge, puh-leese.

No More Irritating BG Noises

Ive got my first pair of noise reduction earphones! Im glad I now have an even better excuse not to hear people since (especially on public transport) they can get especially annoying. Unfortunately I wouldnt be able to hear if someone was trying to save me from getting run over by a bus, either.

Weak! Weakkk! Youre so weak!

Hahahahahahah!

*Prances around like a faggot barbie*

I Wanna Demote

Because being a man is much easier then being a spec.

Because I am gun IC and Im in charge of 18 x 5 million $ worth of artillery pieces and theres no one to do it with me. And everyday theres people calling me to ask me about where the gun keys are, which gun belongs to which battery and all that fuck shit.

Because when I do guard duty I only have to do 12 hour shifts instead of 24 hour shifts, and I get to sleep 8 out of that 12 hours.

Because I dont have to do Company Orderly Sargeant duties.

Because I dont have to use my brain, I only have to do what Im told, and if anything cocks up, I just point at my sargeant and say ,"Not my fault, he ask me do one."

Because I had misguided perception of commanders when I was a recruit.

Because Im just Really Not Happy.

iTunes Virus ALERT!!

Well, the only thing you need to be alerted of is if you have been using the free version of AVG like I have. AVG mistakenly detects iTunes as a viral infection, so if you do get a warning, dont heal or quarantine anything, because theres no problem. Doing so will cause iTunes to be unable to work

Dont be stupid like me and delete iTunes.

More Info

WoW Movie Details!

Swimming On Land

Ok for some of you who still dont know, my parents have both left for france, so its up to my brother to do the washing of the clothes since hes around most of the time.

But bloody hell, I realised that, when I opened my cupboard today, I had no more fucking underwear left. Where did all my underwear go? Has someone stolen them to smell them?

So anyway, in my desperation, Im currently wearing swimming trunks as a substitute until I find out what happened to the rest of my underwear.

10 Things You Didnt Know About ORGASM

A 17 Minute Talk Thats Too Interesting To Miss

BTW, 8 feet is 2.4 meters ^^

MW!

OMG DOESNT IT LOOK BEAUTIFUL?!

Theres no mechwarrior game that Ive not played and this... this is beyond anything I ever expected to play!

Presidential Asshole

So we were jogging along east coast park when I saw our president. Nathan was wearing a cap and he had only 1 bodyguard with him. I guess that just shows how important he is! haha.

Anyway, I saw him from afar and thought, omg I should greet him or something otherwise CO(commanding officer) will complain again. But I was too far to greet him, and I couldnt like, shout cuz if not it would be like hes my friend or something. So I closed the distance and we made eye contact.

Then just as I got close enough to greet him, he turned away and I was like, shit too late. But I said "Good afternoon, sir" anyway, but he just completely ignored me.

So as I jogged away I thought to myself, Im 21 this year, and Im so gonna vote for workers party so that at the end of the day all youll be is a old senile dotard that no one gives a shit about.

And its like every bloody radio station is playing the paedophiles songs. I mean, hes dead, yeah, but its not like his music is going to disappear overnight or something.

NDP!

I went to watch one of the rehearsals for NDP 2009, and I was quite impressed. Well, at least for 2 or 3 out of the 10 sections of the entire parade. The military police doing their gun throwing nonsense was sweet. Reminds me of the start of "a few good men". The clubmixes in NDP were quite a welcome change, if you ask me. I especially find it quite surprising they even threw in a mix from Disturbed's Voices. Who would think a metal band would have anything to do with singapores birthday?

Our apaches were also very very pretty up close. I think Ive made it one of my life goals to pilot one ^^. Strange how being military makes you appreciate the military aspects of the parade more...

Unfortunately they also had their cultural traditional shit, which was indeed shit. Im not interested in the st00pid malay shitlats or the dumb chinese prancing around in their cheongsams. And please dont get started on the "but youre chinese too" bullshit.

Marching Contingents



Apache!


The tank at the middle bottom is the one I see and work with everyday.

Finale!

Gold Class

If you havent gone gold on a cinema before, please do. You dont know what youre missing out! Theres the reclining chair coupled with the leg rest, the service like youre in business class, and frigging BLANKETS just in case youre cold. So be sure to watch action packed movies or the danger of falling asleep is very real!

Not to mention only about 20 people sharing the whole cinema, so even if the people near you talked or made a lot of annoying noises like theyve never seen special effects before, theyre at least a good 2 meters away!

King Of Pop Popped

Everyone seems to be talking about micheal jacksons fatal heart attack, and all I can say is, at least the children are safe now.

Wacko Jackos constant amusement is gone. Pity.

Rats

I was walking home today and as I passed along a malay household on the first floor, I saw a rat run inside the house.

"This must be my place!" thought the rat.

hahahah!

Owned

I went to the games arcade for the first time in years, and I played puzzle fighter with this chick and I got owned. The final score was 2-1 but gdi, it should have been in my favour.

Playing with a joystick is much much harder then with a keyboard, I can guarantee you that. I dont know if my controller was spoilt, but apparently --> + \|/ movement does not equal --> . \|/.

What that means is that, a connected movement like left arrow sliding down to down arrow does not register as two separate movements.

I forgot that ken shouldnt be jabbing, and I forgot morrigans counter colour tiles. Bloody hell she memorised my counter tiles cuz her red was forming there from the beginning. And all I was doing was sucking her titties and getting ass raped ugh.

Story Of The Week

By Shawn:

After I went out of zouk right, I vomited then I stand there like dizzy like that. Then got one group of malays they looking at me. Then I faster took a taxi go home cuz I scared they rob me.

An Hour, A Day, A WEEK

Weak weak weak some people are so weakkkkkkkkkkk!

Talk so much shit bitch, yeah you can really dish it out but you cant take it!

Weakkkkkkkk!

Mind Quiz!!

wah i was playing my mind quiz game on my psp and i realised how much ns has fucked my brain. i totally forgot my multiplication tables (8x6= 64, 9x7=49 lol) and when I did a brain age test Im actually 50 years old! hahaha omg i love that game!

Anyway that camera shop at sembawang mrt just cheated me of 10 bucks. Well, technically I went and got cheated, so it really isnt their fault. I paid 10 bucks for a mini disc with the picture inside, as well as 7 passport sized photos.

Quite a good deal right? Except for the fact that I dont need 7 photos or that fucking disc. Id have happily paid 4 bucks for 4 photos like they used to do. So well yeah, I got my ass cheated. Go ahead and laugh, I hope it makes your miserable day a little better.

Infectious

Jen is going off to australia to do her imba 1 year degree. What worries me is that shes going to melbourne, and thats like, pig flu heaven.

Go and dont come back, dearest. ;p

But seriously, if something really does happen, what am I supposed to do? I cant get near you, but there has to be some way I can make sure youre okay. Hai... Ill have to buy you a years supply of like vitamin C effervescence pills or something. Do you prefer those in lemon or orange flavour? lol

I Make A Good Gigolo

Today was officially the day I joined the 21st Singapore Artillery, my unit. Very unfortunately, they had another initiation ceremony for new specialists :( This one was for joining alpha battery.

(21SA, a battalion, is split into three batteries, alpha, bravo and charlie. The beer episode was for joining 21SA. This tale Im about to tell is about joining alpha.)

The lao jiao specs took us on a tour of the camp after the battery commanders warm welcome of a pizza hut/KFC treat. I wasnt suspicious then; I just wondered why we were doing that since they knew that as trainees, we had ALREADY spent 3 months in kranji camp. Then they took us to a training shed under the pretence of wanting to talk to us.

There was a 2nd lieutenant there. He got us to sit down and asked the senior specs to stand behind us, and once we were all comfortable, he did something that puzzled me.

He turned around and shouted, "MOVE TO FIRING POINT NOW!" I was kinda stunned until I heard voices shouting and people running towards us with water bags, shaving cream and god knows what else.

I thought "fuck" and got up to run. Im rather proud of the fact that I was the first person in my group of 7 newcomers to actually realise what was coming and REACT. It didnt really matter though, cuz the specs were standing behind us, sandwiching us and the mob.

They pinned me down and the only thought that went through my mind at that time, was that I had already put on my night time Vichy/LaRoche routine of toner/moisturiser/vitamin c, and that if I got shit like kiwi on my face, I would get REALLY REALLY pissed.

Well, being a good sport, I had to pretend to laugh and struggle a little bit as I was doused with cold water, scrubbed with kiwi, drawn with markers and some fucker was happily spraying shaving cream INTO my mouth. Me pretending to do that is like a whore pretending your small dick gives them pleasure.

That was when I felt like a prostitute LOL!

So anyways the men started turning on themselves cuz 3 of them were going to ORD, and I guess they had a party for the ORD peeps just before they left for civilian life. After they got raped, our battery comm really did come down and check if we were okay.

At the end I had to re-bathe and fucking put on all my vichy AGAIN. ANNOYING!

Puke Streak

I do solemly and sincerely sweat that no alcohol shall ever touch these lips of mine ever again. IN MY LIFE!

My new captain coerced me to chug down a mug of beer in 20 fucking seconds, and my tolerance for alcohol is like, zilch. Well, it wasnt really coercion, it was just part of some stupid hi-welcome-to-my-lame-unit ceremony that apparently everyone has to go through.

Anyway, I was stoned to hell and knocked out on the mess room floor a few minutes after the drink, then had a merlion when my guys woke me up to go back to the bunk. I slept fitfully till 1am, where I woke and had another merlion, tried to go back to sleep and had my final merlion of the day. Thats three times folks!

I cant ever forget the puke gushing out from my nostrils, and my watering eyes, god it felt like I was gonna regurgitate my eyeballs as well. Never again shall I feel that, for I shall forever live in mortal fear of alcohol. I seriously cant remember the last time I puked....maybe 4 years ago?

Streak broken :(

Sizing Me Up

I like how the men of Singapore like to size you up by looking at your shoulders when youre in uniform. Whos-rank-is-bigger is the name of the game. I also like to see the "humph" look on their face when they see a third sergeant instead of just any Man.

its cool how you can sorta tell a Singaporean from a foreigner by the way they do that. A trained nsman does that to know who and how to greet a superior. The angmohs just stare at the uniform.

Green Is The Colour Of The Day

I was the mrt on the way home when I saw, hiding behind someone, HER.

She had beautiful eyes that drooped ever so slightly, the way someone does when, because of her extreme intellect, is weary of the ennui of the world. Her arms were folded across her chest, like she couldnt give a damn about all the infidels that surrounded Her Royal Highness. Her glossy lips were pursed, like your existence is an annoyance to her.

So.
Turned.
On.

I LIKE!

Bye, queen in green (rhymes)! Ill always remember (always remember for 2 weeks or so) how you brightened up my day!

iDiOt

Guess who thought he was booking a ticket to sit at the back?

Im gonna be looking at who sits here so I can laugh at him.

Return Of The Neh Neh

I met the dua neh bu jia ling today at the mrt. We made eye contact before her eyes darted away first. That much hasnt changed huh? So typical of her.

The Different Faces

Sometime toward the end of every course I tend to get a little sick of everyone. Whether its small ones like jls incessant need to drive away his insecurities about being the only nitec here, or the more huge ones like kennys existence, it all just starts to weigh down.

Maybe its because people think that this will be the last I see of him/her anyway, and therefore it makes it okay to treasure them a little less. True colours start to show, and I start to think that maybe its nice to keep knowing new people, so that at least, they all bother to pretend to be nice.

Hmm. But still, its only pretending.

Gripped

Ive been gripped by this unquenchable urge to play Kingdom Hearts 2. A very unfortunate urge, seeing as to how I no longer own a PS2.

:(

Top 20 Highest Paying Jobs In The States

Most of them are medical!

Jobs

Q: What happens when a 30 ton tank reverses all of a sudden in a convoy and hits the land rover behind it?
A: It smashes the front of the land rover and drags it along all the way until it stops. If it drags long enough, it hits the second land rover behind the first.

Q: What do you do hear if youre inside a 30 ton armoured vehicle and you ram into a land rover while reversing?
A: You hear a small "thud".

Q: What do you do when you open the rear door of the armoured vehicle and you see headlights staring back at you?
A: You ask yourself if youre in a dream, and when you realize that youre not, you start to pray really hard.

Fucking Spiders

No, this post is not about the lame fighting spiders epic fail drama that channel 5 recently released. Its about walking headlong into thin lines that seem like spider webs. I dont really know what they are, and everyone says they are spider webs. We've all walked into them before, so you know what Im talking about.

The question is, why is it that we always walk into ONE strand of web, that is, if it really IS a web? Why is it that we never ever see it before it ends up on our faces (unobservant?)? And what kind of spider would seriously be fucking stupid enough to string/spin a web across a bloody CORRIDOR for goodness sake. And Im pretty sure the places that I always get caught in have people walking past often enough not to let webs collect. Maybe spiders are really quick web makers. I think they are; saw it in a documentary somewhere.

Oh well spiders wernt the smartest insects to begin with. Spin a web and wait. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. This is all, of course, assuming they arnt cum strands or anything, but in fact are spider web lines.

Let Down

You know, itd save me a lot of trouble if you just told me straight in the face that you didnt want to help me. Im fine with it "bro", I really am.

That way, I can stop wasting my time waiting for an answer that I kinda already know, as well as stop wasting my time on you like, for any other time after.

Seriously tho, whats so hard about me taking a look at some bloody course notes?

Corporal Is My Bitch

Sian sian Im so afraid Ill pass out as a bloody corporal and not a sarge. Cannot pass my soc. How to shave 1 minute and 1 second off my timing? I think maybe eat tongkat ali hahah!

Die die.

Man Down

Down with some shit sickness again. Its like my body is protesting the return to camp or something. Or maybe its because I ate that mouldy bread yesterday. But I was already feeling shitty before the bread. Maybe it just exacerbated my condition.

So anyway I just turn on my TV for the first time in ages and I saw this kid on some dumb chinese singing competition for people not cut out for fame. God, he literally was a kid. Not the "young goat" kid, but erm, what was that word vladimir used? Lolita! hahaha

And the first thing that went through my mind was "theres no way Id ever vote for that kid". Cuz I think that for them, its always too much fame too quick. Then their lives usually fuck up beyond that point. IIRC ms Lohan was a pretty decent example. But who knows, maybe hes like those 6 year old piano prodigies that usually end up being philantrophists. Their grasp of reality is rock solid man. Well I guess thats why you call them prodigies.

And the second thing that I thought about all the final err 12(?) contestants was that they all looked the same! I mean, not twins same but like, fashion same. They all had the same haircuts, same style and felt like their hairdresser pretty much ran outta ideas.

All the guys wanna keep da long hair man, yeah, cuz its in da hood yoyoyo! Thats what Im talkin bout yo? You know what Im talkin bout? Yeah sup sup sup DAWG YO! hahahaha

Dunno whats got into me. Sickness fucks the brain.

Erotic Haircut

So I went to this EC House place at sun plaza to get my 4-3-2-1, which is widely known as the Privates' Hairstyle, one up from the Recruits' Hairstyle.

I was attended to by this semi gay fella. Its a constant source of wonder why all the guys in the hair-styling business are pussies. Why dont we have bouncers with l33t hair-styling skillz?

Well, its fine, whether hes gay or not. Just as long as he does a good job. Thats what I thought, anyways. Then suddenly, when he was done, he took out this sucker device (like a vacuum cleaner) thing and started cleaning up the little hair bits on my head and neck.

Id just like to add that, well, the people closer to me (especially huda) know that Ive got, erm, hotspots at the back of my neck and behind my ears -_-

Bloody hell he was using the cocksucker device on those areas and I was like trying not to laugh like fuck. I would have moaned if not for the fact that it was a half-gay sissy doing it, and also for the fact that it was a bloody vacuum cleaner for gods' sake.

Oh my god.

Well, he did a good job, but Im kinda afraid of that thing, so I dunno if ill ever go back. Or maybe Ill just request to do away with it.

Doubly Annoying

Damn tickets sold out within out week? GDI, singaporeans dont have bloody lives haha. Oh no, I should blame NS from keeping me from the loop otherwise Id have found and Id be the one with no life! But then again I AM in NS, so I dont have a life anyway.

The second annoying thing is that my instructors want me to become an instructor! Staff pang asked me if I was ready to be TSM (Trainee Sarge Major, our version of Leader Platoon Sarge) again. I said ,"omg why? izzit because I fucked up? Or cuz you all want me to be instructor". Then he replied with a panicky "NO!" like he knew he gave away the game too early.

Come on la, l2lie plzxz.

Then when zanpeng(1sg) asked who didnt wanna be an instructor, my hand was the ONLY one which shot up. Then good job (we call him good job cuz his name tag says G J Heng) was like , " WHY Zi Jie?! Why you dont want to be instructor?!" It was as though they had a plan to make me into one and my not wanting to be one kinda turned the tables for them.

Then I told him it was because I felt like I cmi, and he replied by saying that dunno who saw something in me that would make me a good instructor. Couldnt really hear what he was saying -_-

Can you imagine me being an instructor? I hate punishing people. I hate organizing shit. I hate warrant heng cuz hes a fat bastard. Everyones telling me Id be stupid to give up being an instructor, but it really goes against my moral values hahaha! I mean, Im not really the type of person who scolds others, unless I get really really mad. And I havent gone berserk in about 11 months. Id like to keep that going ;p

If I go into an active unit (means got war you fight) like charlie, then Ive only got one man under me. But as an instructor you got 20++ trainees under you. Sure, you got other instructors to help, but when you are Duty Instructor for the week how? All the sai kang you do.

Hmm.

Another Concert I Wanna Go To

Calling all FF music lovers!

Need 1+ to start a party! I can loan or even subsidize your ticket fee if you wish ^^. Close friend(s) may even get a free ticket if interest is expressed! Will likely go for $60 or $80 seats on a saturday.

Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy @ Esplanade (Details)

Noise

Just my luck to get the noisiest bunk in the battery. I think that gamers shouldnt be shouting here and there like a bunch of mentally handicapped hooligans. Its so .... unprofessional. It brings new meaning to the "empty vessels" saying. Its amazing how someone can be so sure of how stupid he is.

Where One Can Live Without The Other

It is said that a man lives only for his woman, but that a woman will live only for her child once she has one. When she goes, he cannot find the will to live on, but yet continues to do so because duty to the child demands it. And somehow, he does live on, but he is just a shadow of his former self.

Yet if he goes, she recovers faster, because the main purpose in life has shifted. This is why men usually go first.

I think, thats how it goes. Food for thought, huh.

Legend Of Crap

The legend of chun li was a complete waste of time. Im glad I downloaded it so I could skip the boring parts of the movie. Normally those scenes would be people talking ultra predictable shit, but instead I found myself skipping the fight scenes. Thats how you know its bad.

The acting was horrendous, the plot was ... oh sorry, there was no plot. These days, a girl growing up trying to find her kidnapped father doesnt count as a plot. I could write a script about pink monkeys talking in indian fighting robots and itd be more interesting than this.

Vega died in 30 seconds (its not a spoiler, hes a bad guy, so we all know he'll die. The only question was how and how long it would take) , and chun li could do hadoukens, which were really really cheap looking.

I can see why Life! rated it 1/10.

Woah!

I think maybe Ive come along to admitting why I abhor him so. Hes like a shadow of my former self. Hes every bit as obstinate, egoistical, obnoxious as I was. He cant shut up. He says things that inadvertently hurt some people.

What I hate the most, is that how much I hate him is a measure of how much people used to hate ME. Maybe hate is too strong a word. But man, its like the past keeps rubbing salt into your wounds.

Divinity

I love it when I do somethings without half knowing why I do it, like buying an itouch on impulse, then finding out later in life how certain pieces fit together like your proverbial jigsaw puzzle (I now use it to trade my markets during nights out).

It really glues together the spiritualist view that I have of life that everything that happens does indeed happen for a reason that will ALWAYS benefit you, even losing an organ. Always. The beauty is that you only see it sometime later, if youre receptive and perceptive enough. It may be weeks, months or years, but when it does happen to you, and you see the lesson youve learnt, you know youve reached a milestone in your spiritual/character development.

Its so well planned that I cant believe there isnt a higher power out there juggling everything.

It's Just A Little Getting Used To

Its been a long time since I spent a night at jens. I got a taste of her awesome hospitality when I got to sleep on the floor ;p but no la, I was the one who suggested it cuz she prolly didnt have any mattress lying around.

The thing about NS is, it doesnt toughen you up the way that you think. It just lets you get used to things. You get used to sleeping on mud. You get used to sleeping inside of decrepit haunted buildings. You get used to all the shit and then, when you sleep on a laquered hardwood floor, things arnt really so bad. Youre not any tougher, its just that in comparison, youre better off. Maybe you translate this as being tougher, but somehow, it doesnt feel the same.

Hmm.

Movie Goers That Suck

I just realised that Im starting to hate going to the movies because of some terribly annoying people that always seem to follow me wherever the fuck I go.

These people are, in no particular order of irritation:
1.) Those who just DONT GET IT. They ask their friends sitting beside them "Why did he do that?" or "How did he decipher the code? I dont understand." The weird pattern I kinda notice is that somehow these group of people always have a high pitched, whiny voice that makes you want to tie them to the back of a car going at 140km/hr.

2.) Those that have never seen special effects before. These include mostly elderly women. They go "tsk tsk tsk" or "aiyoooooh" when big things explode, or when they see anything that dazzles their dull minds.

3.) The detectives. These are usually guys looking to impress their dates with their less then average intelligence. They go "Ohh I know why he do that already. You want to know why?, then starts to grin broadly like a retard. What pisses me off even more is that these little shits think theyre the only ones who get it, when itd be tough to find anyone in the cinema who DIDNT.

Of course we have people more into the physical nature of cinematic disturbances, like shaking your chair for whatever reason (ahem), or battling for armrest territory. But these are kinda common and have been around for a much longer time, so Im not gonna dwell on that.



Moral of the Story: Download your movies.

Minilyrics

Minilyrics is an addon (plug-in) for winamp. Its so cool, it even has the lyrics for really obscure songs. Let me show you.

They have lyrics to barneys theme song. The lyrics scroll as the song plays.


They have game OSTs. This ones in Mandalorian, from Star Wars: Republic Commando.


They even have it in chinese (which I cant read so this is useless for me anyway).



And jap!

And then this weird thing happen. I think their database was somehow screwed for this song, or maybe I named it wrongly.

"I got the antichrist in the kitchen"?!!
Wtf? How come like stefanie sun suddenly becomes a death metal singer. ROFL

Marley & Me (Spoilers Ahead)

So I went to watch that show, which apparently, according to a friend, was only barely passable. But what to do, the dearest had already booked the tickets. He also said that the ending was a sad one, and I was like, oh thats cool, I can deal with sad endings.

Then when it got to the part when Jennifer Aniston had the stillborn and I was like, SHIT Noooo! cuz I thought the sad part was that she had to die removing the baby. Turns out that it was the stupid dog that had to die. Boy was I relieved. MILFy Jen cant die, but the dog can go anytime. S'not that I hate dogs, I love them, but only the well behaved ones hahah.

Then came the tear-inducing deathbed monologue in the vets. And just when my eyes were about to get a little less dry, the dearest nudged me and leaned over to whisper "ben! see the girl beside me! shes cryyyyyyying!" Then she giggled. And I looked over and the girl was in fact dabbing her eyes with her hanky. Then *I* giggled. Well, I didnt really giggle cuz guys dont giggle. I kinda went "heh heh heh".

And that was how the most touching part of the movie became a laugh riot for us. I think, throughout the rest of the sad part, we were just glancing around laughing at the boyfriends whos tearduct dams broke.

^^

As far back as I can remember, I have always hated it when I find a nice band with nice music, and then suddenly they began playing it on radio and everyone likes it, then it doesnt seem that nice anymore.

Hoobastanks "Reason" was one. I bought their album long before 98.7 started playing it. Now its the Scripts "Breakeven". What was once nice suddenly became very lacklustre.

Decrepit

Do you know where Sembawang Shopping Center is? Dont confuse it with Sun Plaza, the one beside the mrt. I cycled to ssc today, and its a constant source of amusement that people want to set up shops there, because it is in the middle of nowhere. I do admire their persistence, however futile. Even if the rent was low, you probably cant even pay off the meagre rent if NOBODY comes into your shop right?

Then later on, Officer moses surprised me with a call! I hate to admit it, but I kinda miss him, zy and faggot. They were the 3 people that made BMT bearable for me, or else with all the imbeciles around me Id have just died there and then.

But after he called, I had this feeling that I kinda dont put in enough effort to keep in contact with people I give a shit about. I mean, Ive always known that Im a lazy fuck when it comes to things like this (a characteristic I probably picked up from you-know-who) , but feeling, experiencing the discomfort is like bleah. :(

Day Jah Voo

I just downloaded Call of Duty 4 and I reached the part where my character had to crawl out of a helicopter after it got nuked. Thats when I couldve swore I played the game before. It seemed so familiar, but yet I would have known what, if I played COD before.

Maybe I played that part on nests comp? Or marcuss comp? But why is everything else about the game a blank?

So weirrrrd.

$200 From The Government

Garmen gave all the NS men 200 bucks to throw away, so I threw mine on a PRL long sleeved shirt that Ive been lusting after for 2 weeks or so.

Fun Fact:
Ralph Lauren (born Ralph Lifshitz on October 14, 1939) is an American fashion designer and business executive. He is most notable for his Polo Ralph Lauren clothing brand.
Ralph lift shits??!! Wtffff....

Artillery

Into artillery I go. I was kinda hoping for Chemical Biological Radiological Explosives but artillery is just fine too, since I have a fetish for huge explosions.

Its not too bad too, since khatib camp is like a few bus stops away from me, but its supposedly the camp where people hear Japanese troops marching at night, so good luck with that. The facility is also kinda ancient, so Im wondering if they have electricity, or whether their toilets can flush.

Hmm.

While this may look like a tank, it is actually an arty piece that I think Ill hopefully be working with.

Because Of You

I was having a convo with one of my BMT doods on msn when he made a comment which really made me LOL =)

klik to enlarge

Protection

Sometimes I feel as though I have a guardian angel shielding and warding all the worldly shit away from me.

How else can I book into camp 20 minutes late just to find out that the nicest sergeant is on duty and not get any extras (extras are like detention in school, just 10x worse)?

Its like I could stride out into a busy road and get knocked down by a bus and lose only a finger. Or skydive without a parachute and land in a cotton factory.

I wouldnt be surprised if I died and whilst I was roaming around as a spirit, found out that everyone has a guardian angel looking after em. Maybe some of them angels are just lazier then others. Or maybe in order for them to give you a helping hand, you need to help yourself first, as the saying goes.

So I came back from field camp (my final one) and my god there were ants nibbling me to hell every night I slept.

Then today I chanced upon this video, and I thought, omg, this could be what was living underneath me whilst I slept!

Another Regret

Im proud to say Ive few regrets in life. So few I can count them with one hand. Some of them include taking up geography instead of literature just cuz of my friends in secondary school, even though lit was what I really wanted to do, and not starting with the piano when I was given the chance when I was much younger.

Now, Im heartbroken to announce Ive yet another regret.

Recently we had some live firing, and some of the weapons we used included the Matador anti-tank weapon. For the layman, its a rocket launcher. But its no piss ass weapon like you see in the movies that go peeeew-boom. Its more of a BAAAAAAAAM-WOOOOOOOOOOSH-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, 100 times louder then you thought youve heard before.

You can even feel the shockwave pushing you back from like, 400 meters away.

My regret, is that I was not around when they asked for volunteers to fire the weapon. Its like you just found out you missed a lets-fuck-fiona-xie selection, only much worse. So, so sad.


Imagine the sound at 4:20 amplified 100 times. Thats my baby man.

Gypsy One And CBRE

For those not in the know, gypsy 1 is the codename for some dumb navigation exercise. Thats where you take a compass, map and a cross and walk from point A to B (the cross is for praying with. You usually use it more then either the compass or the map).

The group I did gypsy with was pretty good. We were the second to finish the DAY part of the exercise. The most exciting part of the day was when we did the NIGHT portion. Thats when we got lost in the fucking forest for 1 hour. Under the canopy, its really pitch black. Only vague silhouettes slide around like creatures in the depths of the ocean. What makes things worse is that the Mandai trees have stems lined with rows of spikes. Talk about having backbone huh. Then theres deep pools of mud you step into and it sorta drags your entire leg down into the ground, like quicksand. We wernt even halfway through when everyone was shit dirty till the calves.

My sarge got increasingly pissed when even he couldnt figure a way out and into the track/road and cuz he kept stepping into the mini swamps with his gortex boots (ouch!). Then he started blaming people for not doing their jobs but I suspect pride had much to do with it. Thank God we met a group of OCS artillery people who came from the road or else we'd have walked till the next morning or till ghosts found us.

*****

I got an interview for Chemical Biological Radioactive Explosives/Explosive Ordnance Disposal Units. I did their IQ/personality test, which I got past and went to seletar camp to wear their bomb suits!

Talk about once in a lifetime experiences!

Despite looking like an entire piece of armor, its actually a 3 part set velcro-ed together (your bottoms, tops and helmet/visor are separate). It weighs a total of 26kg, which is about half my fucking weight and I had to climb up 4 floors, under a table, step through tires, do one of those ring and wire games where you have to hold a ring past a length of wire without touching the wire, climb back down to the first floor, over some more tables, up another 3 floors, through a balancing beam and finally do a wooden puzzle at the end, which I failed cuz my visor was half fogged and cuz I was almost hyperventilating.

No joke man, the suit is so tight and claustrophobic that ever deep breath you take in you gotta push the suit outwards with your lung strength lol. In the end you have to deal with breathing only 40% of your full capacity which makes you breathe really really quick and you start using your mouth, which causes the fog.

It was quite a harrowing experience, but god damn, it was fun.

*****

Good lord, youre really the only person who can wake me up at 4am and not get your head shouted off.

The Problem With The Problem

I dont know what to say, because I dont know where to begin.

This was the most eventful week since the beginning of the year, which isnt much to say, seeing as how its only been 18 days.

Every day I stay in the army, Im reminded of why I have girls as best friends; because the regular male is stupid and insensitive. If you were a tall person in a place where there were only short people, youd realise really quickly how different you were. How can I not feel superior? I deal with 20 year old kids who cant control their tempers and are so completely oblivious to the emotions of others they couldnt tell a happy person from a sad person even if the words "HAPPY" and "SAD" were written on their fucking foreheads.

You know how you walk into a toy store and you see kids pestering their parents to get some shit and then crying when they dont get what they want? Its like that all over again.

Sometimes its so bad I curse myself for growing up too fast.

Maybe if I started laughing at breast jokes. Maybe if I started thinking only of myself. Maybe if I lost my ability to see the big picture of situations. Maybe if I treated people a little worse or valued them a little less. Maybe if I started making fun of autistic people with fits.

Maybe if I did all that and more, I could fit in.

Hah. Like Id want to.

|_ 0 2 3 R 5

Im so busy I dont even have time to think about how busy I am.

I wake up, dress up and fall in. Then I run for 4 kilometers.

Breakfast.

Lectures where I struggle to stay awake.

Lunch.

Then we have our afternoon activities of running in our LBVs and helmets and shit or whatever fuck shit they can think up. This is peppered intermittently with short breaks where we wait for our instructors to organise shit they should have done a long time ago.

Dinner.

More exercises/lectures.

We're free at 10. Once everythings done (bathing, cleaning etc) is done, you sleep at 1130. Then you wake at 5, and this post repeats itself.

In Basic Mililary Training Center, the instructors all tell you how youll miss BMTC once you leave it. And somehow, I know that, but experiencing it is slightly... different. And then theres the constant wondering of how people so fucked up they make a whore look saintly can enter sispec. Which only confirms the fact that any dumb fuck can enter sispec as long as you pass your NAPFA.

I miss BMT. The people there were stupid. But at least they wernt assholes.

Hai.

Graduation from BMC with buddy Dylan.

Yay what a great start to a new year! Mummy bought me a nice sports bag to carry all the clothes and shit I have to bring to and from camp. It was a kinda spontaneous thing that we did, like just walk into a shop and it was just sitting there, calling to me.

What else was there to do but buy it?

Marriage

I talked to my buddy bout marriage. Or rather, the process of this extremely troublesome event that has somehow wormed its way into our list of important things to do within the next 15 years.

Its all really confusing cuz like, you have to get married once when youre solemnised (thats when you do that "i do" "i do" shit) and then get married again when you drink the wedding wine (if youre chinese, which unfortunately, I am). So I didnt really understand when I was actually married lol if you get what I mean. At least, that was how he explained it and how I got it.

I only barely got the idea and its still kinda fuzzy in my head. But apparently it was quite a fun learning process for him.

And not to mention that cuz my buddy is below 21, both parties are required to bring their parents down, which is kinda dumb, but oh well thats singapore for you.

The New Years

It feels strangely dull. Maybe the passing of time has lost its effect on me. The only feeling I have for new years is that of irritation cuz now I have to write 09 instead of 08 when I write dates.

*****

Its a miracle how some people get into command school. Their personalities are so screwed up they make a screw look straight. I dont feel like Im the top x% when I see the kind of rabble Im placed with.