Fucking Spiders

No, this post is not about the lame fighting spiders epic fail drama that channel 5 recently released. Its about walking headlong into thin lines that seem like spider webs. I dont really know what they are, and everyone says they are spider webs. We've all walked into them before, so you know what Im talking about.

The question is, why is it that we always walk into ONE strand of web, that is, if it really IS a web? Why is it that we never ever see it before it ends up on our faces (unobservant?)? And what kind of spider would seriously be fucking stupid enough to string/spin a web across a bloody CORRIDOR for goodness sake. And Im pretty sure the places that I always get caught in have people walking past often enough not to let webs collect. Maybe spiders are really quick web makers. I think they are; saw it in a documentary somewhere.

Oh well spiders wernt the smartest insects to begin with. Spin a web and wait. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. This is all, of course, assuming they arnt cum strands or anything, but in fact are spider web lines.

Let Down

You know, itd save me a lot of trouble if you just told me straight in the face that you didnt want to help me. Im fine with it "bro", I really am.

That way, I can stop wasting my time waiting for an answer that I kinda already know, as well as stop wasting my time on you like, for any other time after.

Seriously tho, whats so hard about me taking a look at some bloody course notes?

Corporal Is My Bitch

Sian sian Im so afraid Ill pass out as a bloody corporal and not a sarge. Cannot pass my soc. How to shave 1 minute and 1 second off my timing? I think maybe eat tongkat ali hahah!

Die die.

Man Down

Down with some shit sickness again. Its like my body is protesting the return to camp or something. Or maybe its because I ate that mouldy bread yesterday. But I was already feeling shitty before the bread. Maybe it just exacerbated my condition.

So anyway I just turn on my TV for the first time in ages and I saw this kid on some dumb chinese singing competition for people not cut out for fame. God, he literally was a kid. Not the "young goat" kid, but erm, what was that word vladimir used? Lolita! hahaha

And the first thing that went through my mind was "theres no way Id ever vote for that kid". Cuz I think that for them, its always too much fame too quick. Then their lives usually fuck up beyond that point. IIRC ms Lohan was a pretty decent example. But who knows, maybe hes like those 6 year old piano prodigies that usually end up being philantrophists. Their grasp of reality is rock solid man. Well I guess thats why you call them prodigies.

And the second thing that I thought about all the final err 12(?) contestants was that they all looked the same! I mean, not twins same but like, fashion same. They all had the same haircuts, same style and felt like their hairdresser pretty much ran outta ideas.

All the guys wanna keep da long hair man, yeah, cuz its in da hood yoyoyo! Thats what Im talkin bout yo? You know what Im talkin bout? Yeah sup sup sup DAWG YO! hahahaha

Dunno whats got into me. Sickness fucks the brain.

Erotic Haircut

So I went to this EC House place at sun plaza to get my 4-3-2-1, which is widely known as the Privates' Hairstyle, one up from the Recruits' Hairstyle.

I was attended to by this semi gay fella. Its a constant source of wonder why all the guys in the hair-styling business are pussies. Why dont we have bouncers with l33t hair-styling skillz?

Well, its fine, whether hes gay or not. Just as long as he does a good job. Thats what I thought, anyways. Then suddenly, when he was done, he took out this sucker device (like a vacuum cleaner) thing and started cleaning up the little hair bits on my head and neck.

Id just like to add that, well, the people closer to me (especially huda) know that Ive got, erm, hotspots at the back of my neck and behind my ears -_-

Bloody hell he was using the cocksucker device on those areas and I was like trying not to laugh like fuck. I would have moaned if not for the fact that it was a half-gay sissy doing it, and also for the fact that it was a bloody vacuum cleaner for gods' sake.

Oh my god.

Well, he did a good job, but Im kinda afraid of that thing, so I dunno if ill ever go back. Or maybe Ill just request to do away with it.

Doubly Annoying

Damn tickets sold out within out week? GDI, singaporeans dont have bloody lives haha. Oh no, I should blame NS from keeping me from the loop otherwise Id have found and Id be the one with no life! But then again I AM in NS, so I dont have a life anyway.

The second annoying thing is that my instructors want me to become an instructor! Staff pang asked me if I was ready to be TSM (Trainee Sarge Major, our version of Leader Platoon Sarge) again. I said ,"omg why? izzit because I fucked up? Or cuz you all want me to be instructor". Then he replied with a panicky "NO!" like he knew he gave away the game too early.

Come on la, l2lie plzxz.

Then when zanpeng(1sg) asked who didnt wanna be an instructor, my hand was the ONLY one which shot up. Then good job (we call him good job cuz his name tag says G J Heng) was like , " WHY Zi Jie?! Why you dont want to be instructor?!" It was as though they had a plan to make me into one and my not wanting to be one kinda turned the tables for them.

Then I told him it was because I felt like I cmi, and he replied by saying that dunno who saw something in me that would make me a good instructor. Couldnt really hear what he was saying -_-

Can you imagine me being an instructor? I hate punishing people. I hate organizing shit. I hate warrant heng cuz hes a fat bastard. Everyones telling me Id be stupid to give up being an instructor, but it really goes against my moral values hahaha! I mean, Im not really the type of person who scolds others, unless I get really really mad. And I havent gone berserk in about 11 months. Id like to keep that going ;p

If I go into an active unit (means got war you fight) like charlie, then Ive only got one man under me. But as an instructor you got 20++ trainees under you. Sure, you got other instructors to help, but when you are Duty Instructor for the week how? All the sai kang you do.

Hmm.

Another Concert I Wanna Go To

Calling all FF music lovers!

Need 1+ to start a party! I can loan or even subsidize your ticket fee if you wish ^^. Close friend(s) may even get a free ticket if interest is expressed! Will likely go for $60 or $80 seats on a saturday.

Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy @ Esplanade (Details)

Noise

Just my luck to get the noisiest bunk in the battery. I think that gamers shouldnt be shouting here and there like a bunch of mentally handicapped hooligans. Its so .... unprofessional. It brings new meaning to the "empty vessels" saying. Its amazing how someone can be so sure of how stupid he is.

Where One Can Live Without The Other

It is said that a man lives only for his woman, but that a woman will live only for her child once she has one. When she goes, he cannot find the will to live on, but yet continues to do so because duty to the child demands it. And somehow, he does live on, but he is just a shadow of his former self.

Yet if he goes, she recovers faster, because the main purpose in life has shifted. This is why men usually go first.

I think, thats how it goes. Food for thought, huh.

Legend Of Crap

The legend of chun li was a complete waste of time. Im glad I downloaded it so I could skip the boring parts of the movie. Normally those scenes would be people talking ultra predictable shit, but instead I found myself skipping the fight scenes. Thats how you know its bad.

The acting was horrendous, the plot was ... oh sorry, there was no plot. These days, a girl growing up trying to find her kidnapped father doesnt count as a plot. I could write a script about pink monkeys talking in indian fighting robots and itd be more interesting than this.

Vega died in 30 seconds (its not a spoiler, hes a bad guy, so we all know he'll die. The only question was how and how long it would take) , and chun li could do hadoukens, which were really really cheap looking.

I can see why Life! rated it 1/10.

Woah!

I think maybe Ive come along to admitting why I abhor him so. Hes like a shadow of my former self. Hes every bit as obstinate, egoistical, obnoxious as I was. He cant shut up. He says things that inadvertently hurt some people.

What I hate the most, is that how much I hate him is a measure of how much people used to hate ME. Maybe hate is too strong a word. But man, its like the past keeps rubbing salt into your wounds.

Divinity

I love it when I do somethings without half knowing why I do it, like buying an itouch on impulse, then finding out later in life how certain pieces fit together like your proverbial jigsaw puzzle (I now use it to trade my markets during nights out).

It really glues together the spiritualist view that I have of life that everything that happens does indeed happen for a reason that will ALWAYS benefit you, even losing an organ. Always. The beauty is that you only see it sometime later, if youre receptive and perceptive enough. It may be weeks, months or years, but when it does happen to you, and you see the lesson youve learnt, you know youve reached a milestone in your spiritual/character development.

Its so well planned that I cant believe there isnt a higher power out there juggling everything.

It's Just A Little Getting Used To

Its been a long time since I spent a night at jens. I got a taste of her awesome hospitality when I got to sleep on the floor ;p but no la, I was the one who suggested it cuz she prolly didnt have any mattress lying around.

The thing about NS is, it doesnt toughen you up the way that you think. It just lets you get used to things. You get used to sleeping on mud. You get used to sleeping inside of decrepit haunted buildings. You get used to all the shit and then, when you sleep on a laquered hardwood floor, things arnt really so bad. Youre not any tougher, its just that in comparison, youre better off. Maybe you translate this as being tougher, but somehow, it doesnt feel the same.

Hmm.

Movie Goers That Suck

I just realised that Im starting to hate going to the movies because of some terribly annoying people that always seem to follow me wherever the fuck I go.

These people are, in no particular order of irritation:
1.) Those who just DONT GET IT. They ask their friends sitting beside them "Why did he do that?" or "How did he decipher the code? I dont understand." The weird pattern I kinda notice is that somehow these group of people always have a high pitched, whiny voice that makes you want to tie them to the back of a car going at 140km/hr.

2.) Those that have never seen special effects before. These include mostly elderly women. They go "tsk tsk tsk" or "aiyoooooh" when big things explode, or when they see anything that dazzles their dull minds.

3.) The detectives. These are usually guys looking to impress their dates with their less then average intelligence. They go "Ohh I know why he do that already. You want to know why?, then starts to grin broadly like a retard. What pisses me off even more is that these little shits think theyre the only ones who get it, when itd be tough to find anyone in the cinema who DIDNT.

Of course we have people more into the physical nature of cinematic disturbances, like shaking your chair for whatever reason (ahem), or battling for armrest territory. But these are kinda common and have been around for a much longer time, so Im not gonna dwell on that.



Moral of the Story: Download your movies.

Minilyrics

Minilyrics is an addon (plug-in) for winamp. Its so cool, it even has the lyrics for really obscure songs. Let me show you.

They have lyrics to barneys theme song. The lyrics scroll as the song plays.


They have game OSTs. This ones in Mandalorian, from Star Wars: Republic Commando.


They even have it in chinese (which I cant read so this is useless for me anyway).



And jap!

And then this weird thing happen. I think their database was somehow screwed for this song, or maybe I named it wrongly.

"I got the antichrist in the kitchen"?!!
Wtf? How come like stefanie sun suddenly becomes a death metal singer. ROFL

Marley & Me (Spoilers Ahead)

So I went to watch that show, which apparently, according to a friend, was only barely passable. But what to do, the dearest had already booked the tickets. He also said that the ending was a sad one, and I was like, oh thats cool, I can deal with sad endings.

Then when it got to the part when Jennifer Aniston had the stillborn and I was like, SHIT Noooo! cuz I thought the sad part was that she had to die removing the baby. Turns out that it was the stupid dog that had to die. Boy was I relieved. MILFy Jen cant die, but the dog can go anytime. S'not that I hate dogs, I love them, but only the well behaved ones hahah.

Then came the tear-inducing deathbed monologue in the vets. And just when my eyes were about to get a little less dry, the dearest nudged me and leaned over to whisper "ben! see the girl beside me! shes cryyyyyyying!" Then she giggled. And I looked over and the girl was in fact dabbing her eyes with her hanky. Then *I* giggled. Well, I didnt really giggle cuz guys dont giggle. I kinda went "heh heh heh".

And that was how the most touching part of the movie became a laugh riot for us. I think, throughout the rest of the sad part, we were just glancing around laughing at the boyfriends whos tearduct dams broke.

^^

As far back as I can remember, I have always hated it when I find a nice band with nice music, and then suddenly they began playing it on radio and everyone likes it, then it doesnt seem that nice anymore.

Hoobastanks "Reason" was one. I bought their album long before 98.7 started playing it. Now its the Scripts "Breakeven". What was once nice suddenly became very lacklustre.

Decrepit

Do you know where Sembawang Shopping Center is? Dont confuse it with Sun Plaza, the one beside the mrt. I cycled to ssc today, and its a constant source of amusement that people want to set up shops there, because it is in the middle of nowhere. I do admire their persistence, however futile. Even if the rent was low, you probably cant even pay off the meagre rent if NOBODY comes into your shop right?

Then later on, Officer moses surprised me with a call! I hate to admit it, but I kinda miss him, zy and faggot. They were the 3 people that made BMT bearable for me, or else with all the imbeciles around me Id have just died there and then.

But after he called, I had this feeling that I kinda dont put in enough effort to keep in contact with people I give a shit about. I mean, Ive always known that Im a lazy fuck when it comes to things like this (a characteristic I probably picked up from you-know-who) , but feeling, experiencing the discomfort is like bleah. :(

Day Jah Voo

I just downloaded Call of Duty 4 and I reached the part where my character had to crawl out of a helicopter after it got nuked. Thats when I couldve swore I played the game before. It seemed so familiar, but yet I would have known what, if I played COD before.

Maybe I played that part on nests comp? Or marcuss comp? But why is everything else about the game a blank?

So weirrrrd.

$200 From The Government

Garmen gave all the NS men 200 bucks to throw away, so I threw mine on a PRL long sleeved shirt that Ive been lusting after for 2 weeks or so.

Fun Fact:
Ralph Lauren (born Ralph Lifshitz on October 14, 1939) is an American fashion designer and business executive. He is most notable for his Polo Ralph Lauren clothing brand.
Ralph lift shits??!! Wtffff....