It really does. What some people dont really know about me is that Im actually a loner, and I love it. I enjoy spending quality time with myself. I enjoy shutting myself off from the world and living as though its Me against The World, because thats just how it is sometimes.
I absolutely hate it when mummy comes home and sort of demands to be let into my life. But thats not how it works. Im in Fuck-Off-Everybody Mode, where I dont want to hear people speak, dont want to ask questions, dont want to answer questions and pretty much dont want to hear anyone's voice at all.
But you know what the problem is? Im not going to tell her. Because I cant. Because someone like me just cant. Its not in my nature to. Even if I did, she would probably think Im psychotic and want me to see a psychiatrist. Either that or she would go "aiyah when I go to france/aiyah when Im dead you wont have anyone to nag at you" like she just did cuz I JUST WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE. I get *especially* irritable when Im in my alone-mood when people try to butt in nagging nag nag nag nag nag
I dont get why she doesnt understand that. I dont get why people dont understand why other people LIKE to be alone. Which is quite hypocritical because I once thought the Dearest was crazy for being how she was. Sure there are moments I show my love to the people around me, but that doesnt mean Im a kissy-wissy forever lovey-dovey shit face all the time.
I dont want to be alone because Im sad. I dont want to be alone because Im depressed or anything. Its because I LIKE it. Im a LONER. But yet that doesnt mean I dont have friends, or that Im not popular. I have lots of both, its just that I have Myself as well. And I love Me a lot.
And Ive been having this throbbing headache like fucking cancer for the past week and its not helping me think or get any less annoyed at mummy.
Goddammit. And you think you had problems in your life.
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