Committee Members Are Stupid

Okay like, you all know when theres like, an official meeting of some sort right, theres always this person that has to do minutes right? And just in case you dont know what minutes are, its a record of what was said during the meeting and who said it.

So there was this meeting going on a few days back and I was tasked with turning the written minutes into a MS word file. That was a supposed to be an easy job, if not for the fact that I was trying so hard to figure out what the fuck that idiot copying down the minutes and also that I was laughing my ass off.

Here are some samples under the "complaints" section:

1.) Wheel car needs a lift.

I was stoned when I saw that. What the fuck is a wheel car? Is that like a wheel chair? Or is it just the first time he's seen a car with wheels and therefore has to call it a wheel-car and not a, say, hover-car. And where do you need to bring this wheel car to anyway? When I need a lift to school, I would obviously be going to school, right? So where would the wheel car need a lift to?

MY FINAL TRANSLATION: The wheel chair bound citizens of bishan may need elevators to move about with greater ease.


2.) Dirty smell in the lift aft clening

Well, the first thing that hits you is that "cleaning" is spelt wrongly. The second thing you may wonder is how exactly a "dirty smell" smells like. Then the third thing youd wonder is what the lift was cleaned with if it smells worse after cleaning.

MY FINAL TRANSLATION: Dirty smell in the lift after cleaning. (I just copied it. I had no idea how to decipher something like that.)


3.) Bees found in the blok and fly into the unit and stunk the kids, appear in the morning.

K, this was by far the best one and it had me in stiches lol. When I read "stunk the kids" i howled with laughter and was told to shut up by my colleague ;p So like, the kids appeared in the morning and were stunk by bees? Or did the bees appear in the morning to do some stunking? Hahah!

MY FINAL TRANSLATION: Bees were found in the block and children were stung by them.