I do solemly and sincerely sweat that no alcohol shall ever touch these lips of mine ever again. IN MY LIFE!
My new captain coerced me to chug down a mug of beer in 20 fucking seconds, and my tolerance for alcohol is like, zilch. Well, it wasnt really coercion, it was just part of some stupid hi-welcome-to-my-lame-unit ceremony that apparently everyone has to go through.
Anyway, I was stoned to hell and knocked out on the mess room floor a few minutes after the drink, then had a merlion when my guys woke me up to go back to the bunk. I slept fitfully till 1am, where I woke and had another merlion, tried to go back to sleep and had my final merlion of the day. Thats three times folks!
I cant ever forget the puke gushing out from my nostrils, and my watering eyes, god it felt like I was gonna regurgitate my eyeballs as well. Never again shall I feel that, for I shall forever live in mortal fear of alcohol. I seriously cant remember the last time I puked....maybe 4 years ago?
Streak broken :(
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sizing Me Up
I like how the men of Singapore like to size you up by looking at your shoulders when youre in uniform. Whos-rank-is-bigger is the name of the game. I also like to see the "humph" look on their face when they see a third sergeant instead of just any Man.
its cool how you can sorta tell a Singaporean from a foreigner by the way they do that. A trained nsman does that to know who and how to greet a superior. The angmohs just stare at the uniform.
its cool how you can sorta tell a Singaporean from a foreigner by the way they do that. A trained nsman does that to know who and how to greet a superior. The angmohs just stare at the uniform.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Green Is The Colour Of The Day
I was the mrt on the way home when I saw, hiding behind someone, HER.
She had beautiful eyes that drooped ever so slightly, the way someone does when, because of her extreme intellect, is weary of the ennui of the world. Her arms were folded across her chest, like she couldnt give a damn about all the infidels that surrounded Her Royal Highness. Her glossy lips were pursed, like your existence is an annoyance to her.
So.
Turned.
On.
I LIKE!
Bye, queen in green (rhymes)! Ill always remember (always remember for 2 weeks or so) how you brightened up my day!
She had beautiful eyes that drooped ever so slightly, the way someone does when, because of her extreme intellect, is weary of the ennui of the world. Her arms were folded across her chest, like she couldnt give a damn about all the infidels that surrounded Her Royal Highness. Her glossy lips were pursed, like your existence is an annoyance to her.
So.
Turned.
On.
I LIKE!
Bye, queen in green (rhymes)! Ill always remember (always remember for 2 weeks or so) how you brightened up my day!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
iDiOt
Guess who thought he was booking a ticket to sit at the back?
Im gonna be looking at who sits here so I can laugh at him.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Return Of The Neh Neh
I met the dua neh bu jia ling today at the mrt. We made eye contact before her eyes darted away first. That much hasnt changed huh? So typical of her.
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Different Faces
Sometime toward the end of every course I tend to get a little sick of everyone. Whether its small ones like jls incessant need to drive away his insecurities about being the only nitec here, or the more huge ones like kennys existence, it all just starts to weigh down.
Maybe its because people think that this will be the last I see of him/her anyway, and therefore it makes it okay to treasure them a little less. True colours start to show, and I start to think that maybe its nice to keep knowing new people, so that at least, they all bother to pretend to be nice.
Hmm. But still, its only pretending.
Maybe its because people think that this will be the last I see of him/her anyway, and therefore it makes it okay to treasure them a little less. True colours start to show, and I start to think that maybe its nice to keep knowing new people, so that at least, they all bother to pretend to be nice.
Hmm. But still, its only pretending.
Gripped
Ive been gripped by this unquenchable urge to play Kingdom Hearts 2. A very unfortunate urge, seeing as to how I no longer own a PS2.
:(
:(
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Q: What happens when a 30 ton tank reverses all of a sudden in a convoy and hits the land rover behind it?
A: It smashes the front of the land rover and drags it along all the way until it stops. If it drags long enough, it hits the second land rover behind the first.
Q: What do you do hear if youre inside a 30 ton armoured vehicle and you ram into a land rover while reversing?
A: You hear a small "thud".
Q: What do you do when you open the rear door of the armoured vehicle and you see headlights staring back at you?
A: You ask yourself if youre in a dream, and when you realize that youre not, you start to pray really hard.
A: It smashes the front of the land rover and drags it along all the way until it stops. If it drags long enough, it hits the second land rover behind the first.
Q: What do you do hear if youre inside a 30 ton armoured vehicle and you ram into a land rover while reversing?
A: You hear a small "thud".
Q: What do you do when you open the rear door of the armoured vehicle and you see headlights staring back at you?
A: You ask yourself if youre in a dream, and when you realize that youre not, you start to pray really hard.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Fucking Spiders
No, this post is not about the lame fighting spiders epic fail drama that channel 5 recently released. Its about walking headlong into thin lines that seem like spider webs. I dont really know what they are, and everyone says they are spider webs. We've all walked into them before, so you know what Im talking about.
The question is, why is it that we always walk into ONE strand of web, that is, if it really IS a web? Why is it that we never ever see it before it ends up on our faces (unobservant?)? And what kind of spider would seriously be fucking stupid enough to string/spin a web across a bloody CORRIDOR for goodness sake. And Im pretty sure the places that I always get caught in have people walking past often enough not to let webs collect. Maybe spiders are really quick web makers. I think they are; saw it in a documentary somewhere.
Oh well spiders wernt the smartest insects to begin with. Spin a web and wait. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. This is all, of course, assuming they arnt cum strands or anything, but in fact are spider web lines.
The question is, why is it that we always walk into ONE strand of web, that is, if it really IS a web? Why is it that we never ever see it before it ends up on our faces (unobservant?)? And what kind of spider would seriously be fucking stupid enough to string/spin a web across a bloody CORRIDOR for goodness sake. And Im pretty sure the places that I always get caught in have people walking past often enough not to let webs collect. Maybe spiders are really quick web makers. I think they are; saw it in a documentary somewhere.
Oh well spiders wernt the smartest insects to begin with. Spin a web and wait. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. This is all, of course, assuming they arnt cum strands or anything, but in fact are spider web lines.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Let Down
You know, itd save me a lot of trouble if you just told me straight in the face that you didnt want to help me. Im fine with it "bro", I really am.
That way, I can stop wasting my time waiting for an answer that I kinda already know, as well as stop wasting my time on you like, for any other time after.
Seriously tho, whats so hard about me taking a look at some bloody course notes?
That way, I can stop wasting my time waiting for an answer that I kinda already know, as well as stop wasting my time on you like, for any other time after.
Seriously tho, whats so hard about me taking a look at some bloody course notes?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Corporal Is My Bitch
Sian sian Im so afraid Ill pass out as a bloody corporal and not a sarge. Cannot pass my soc. How to shave 1 minute and 1 second off my timing? I think maybe eat tongkat ali hahah!
Die die.
Die die.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Man Down
Down with some shit sickness again. Its like my body is protesting the return to camp or something. Or maybe its because I ate that mouldy bread yesterday. But I was already feeling shitty before the bread. Maybe it just exacerbated my condition.
So anyway I just turn on my TV for the first time in ages and I saw this kid on some dumb chinese singing competition for people not cut out for fame. God, he literally was a kid. Not the "young goat" kid, but erm, what was that word vladimir used? Lolita! hahaha
And the first thing that went through my mind was "theres no way Id ever vote for that kid". Cuz I think that for them, its always too much fame too quick. Then their lives usually fuck up beyond that point. IIRC ms Lohan was a pretty decent example. But who knows, maybe hes like those 6 year old piano prodigies that usually end up being philantrophists. Their grasp of reality is rock solid man. Well I guess thats why you call them prodigies.
And the second thing that I thought about all the final err 12(?) contestants was that they all looked the same! I mean, not twins same but like, fashion same. They all had the same haircuts, same style and felt like their hairdresser pretty much ran outta ideas.
All the guys wanna keep da long hair man, yeah, cuz its in da hood yoyoyo! Thats what Im talkin bout yo? You know what Im talkin bout? Yeah sup sup sup DAWG YO! hahahaha
Dunno whats got into me. Sickness fucks the brain.
So anyway I just turn on my TV for the first time in ages and I saw this kid on some dumb chinese singing competition for people not cut out for fame. God, he literally was a kid. Not the "young goat" kid, but erm, what was that word vladimir used? Lolita! hahaha
And the first thing that went through my mind was "theres no way Id ever vote for that kid". Cuz I think that for them, its always too much fame too quick. Then their lives usually fuck up beyond that point. IIRC ms Lohan was a pretty decent example. But who knows, maybe hes like those 6 year old piano prodigies that usually end up being philantrophists. Their grasp of reality is rock solid man. Well I guess thats why you call them prodigies.
And the second thing that I thought about all the final err 12(?) contestants was that they all looked the same! I mean, not twins same but like, fashion same. They all had the same haircuts, same style and felt like their hairdresser pretty much ran outta ideas.
All the guys wanna keep da long hair man, yeah, cuz its in da hood yoyoyo! Thats what Im talkin bout yo? You know what Im talkin bout? Yeah sup sup sup DAWG YO! hahahaha
Dunno whats got into me. Sickness fucks the brain.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Erotic Haircut
So I went to this EC House place at sun plaza to get my 4-3-2-1, which is widely known as the Privates' Hairstyle, one up from the Recruits' Hairstyle.
I was attended to by this semi gay fella. Its a constant source of wonder why all the guys in the hair-styling business are pussies. Why dont we have bouncers with l33t hair-styling skillz?
Well, its fine, whether hes gay or not. Just as long as he does a good job. Thats what I thought, anyways. Then suddenly, when he was done, he took out this sucker device (like a vacuum cleaner) thing and started cleaning up the little hair bits on my head and neck.
Id just like to add that, well, the people closer to me (especially huda) know that Ive got, erm, hotspots at the back of my neck and behind my ears -_-
Bloody hell he was using the cocksucker device on those areas and I was like trying not to laugh like fuck. I would have moaned if not for the fact that it was a half-gay sissy doing it, and also for the fact that it was a bloody vacuum cleaner for gods' sake.
Oh my god.
Well, he did a good job, but Im kinda afraid of that thing, so I dunno if ill ever go back. Or maybe Ill just request to do away with it.
I was attended to by this semi gay fella. Its a constant source of wonder why all the guys in the hair-styling business are pussies. Why dont we have bouncers with l33t hair-styling skillz?
Well, its fine, whether hes gay or not. Just as long as he does a good job. Thats what I thought, anyways. Then suddenly, when he was done, he took out this sucker device (like a vacuum cleaner) thing and started cleaning up the little hair bits on my head and neck.
Id just like to add that, well, the people closer to me (especially huda) know that Ive got, erm, hotspots at the back of my neck and behind my ears -_-
Bloody hell he was using the cocksucker device on those areas and I was like trying not to laugh like fuck. I would have moaned if not for the fact that it was a half-gay sissy doing it, and also for the fact that it was a bloody vacuum cleaner for gods' sake.
Oh my god.
Well, he did a good job, but Im kinda afraid of that thing, so I dunno if ill ever go back. Or maybe Ill just request to do away with it.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Doubly Annoying
Damn tickets sold out within out week? GDI, singaporeans dont have bloody lives haha. Oh no, I should blame NS from keeping me from the loop otherwise Id have found and Id be the one with no life! But then again I AM in NS, so I dont have a life anyway.
The second annoying thing is that my instructors want me to become an instructor! Staff pang asked me if I was ready to be TSM (Trainee Sarge Major, our version of Leader Platoon Sarge) again. I said ,"omg why? izzit because I fucked up? Or cuz you all want me to be instructor". Then he replied with a panicky "NO!" like he knew he gave away the game too early.
Come on la, l2lie plzxz.
Then when zanpeng(1sg) asked who didnt wanna be an instructor, my hand was the ONLY one which shot up. Then good job (we call him good job cuz his name tag says G J Heng) was like , " WHY Zi Jie?! Why you dont want to be instructor?!" It was as though they had a plan to make me into one and my not wanting to be one kinda turned the tables for them.
Then I told him it was because I felt like I cmi, and he replied by saying that dunno who saw something in me that would make me a good instructor. Couldnt really hear what he was saying -_-
Can you imagine me being an instructor? I hate punishing people. I hate organizing shit. I hate warrant heng cuz hes a fat bastard. Everyones telling me Id be stupid to give up being an instructor, but it really goes against my moral values hahaha! I mean, Im not really the type of person who scolds others, unless I get really really mad. And I havent gone berserk in about 11 months. Id like to keep that going ;p
If I go into an active unit (means got war you fight) like charlie, then Ive only got one man under me. But as an instructor you got 20++ trainees under you. Sure, you got other instructors to help, but when you are Duty Instructor for the week how? All the sai kang you do.
Hmm.
The second annoying thing is that my instructors want me to become an instructor! Staff pang asked me if I was ready to be TSM (Trainee Sarge Major, our version of Leader Platoon Sarge) again. I said ,"omg why? izzit because I fucked up? Or cuz you all want me to be instructor". Then he replied with a panicky "NO!" like he knew he gave away the game too early.
Come on la, l2lie plzxz.
Then when zanpeng(1sg) asked who didnt wanna be an instructor, my hand was the ONLY one which shot up. Then good job (we call him good job cuz his name tag says G J Heng) was like , " WHY Zi Jie?! Why you dont want to be instructor?!" It was as though they had a plan to make me into one and my not wanting to be one kinda turned the tables for them.
Then I told him it was because I felt like I cmi, and he replied by saying that dunno who saw something in me that would make me a good instructor. Couldnt really hear what he was saying -_-
Can you imagine me being an instructor? I hate punishing people. I hate organizing shit. I hate warrant heng cuz hes a fat bastard. Everyones telling me Id be stupid to give up being an instructor, but it really goes against my moral values hahaha! I mean, Im not really the type of person who scolds others, unless I get really really mad. And I havent gone berserk in about 11 months. Id like to keep that going ;p
If I go into an active unit (means got war you fight) like charlie, then Ive only got one man under me. But as an instructor you got 20++ trainees under you. Sure, you got other instructors to help, but when you are Duty Instructor for the week how? All the sai kang you do.
Hmm.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Another Concert I Wanna Go To
Calling all FF music lovers!
Need 1+ to start a party! I can loan or even subsidize your ticket fee if you wish ^^. Close friend(s) may even get a free ticket if interest is expressed! Will likely go for $60 or $80 seats on a saturday.
Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy @ Esplanade (Details)
Need 1+ to start a party! I can loan or even subsidize your ticket fee if you wish ^^. Close friend(s) may even get a free ticket if interest is expressed! Will likely go for $60 or $80 seats on a saturday.
Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy @ Esplanade (Details)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Noise
Just my luck to get the noisiest bunk in the battery. I think that gamers shouldnt be shouting here and there like a bunch of mentally handicapped hooligans. Its so .... unprofessional. It brings new meaning to the "empty vessels" saying. Its amazing how someone can be so sure of how stupid he is.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Where One Can Live Without The Other
It is said that a man lives only for his woman, but that a woman will live only for her child once she has one. When she goes, he cannot find the will to live on, but yet continues to do so because duty to the child demands it. And somehow, he does live on, but he is just a shadow of his former self.
Yet if he goes, she recovers faster, because the main purpose in life has shifted. This is why men usually go first.
I think, thats how it goes. Food for thought, huh.
Yet if he goes, she recovers faster, because the main purpose in life has shifted. This is why men usually go first.
I think, thats how it goes. Food for thought, huh.
Legend Of Crap
The legend of chun li was a complete waste of time. Im glad I downloaded it so I could skip the boring parts of the movie. Normally those scenes would be people talking ultra predictable shit, but instead I found myself skipping the fight scenes. Thats how you know its bad.
The acting was horrendous, the plot was ... oh sorry, there was no plot. These days, a girl growing up trying to find her kidnapped father doesnt count as a plot. I could write a script about pink monkeys talking in indian fighting robots and itd be more interesting than this.
Vega died in 30 seconds (its not a spoiler, hes a bad guy, so we all know he'll die. The only question was how and how long it would take) , and chun li could do hadoukens, which were really really cheap looking.
I can see why Life! rated it 1/10.
The acting was horrendous, the plot was ... oh sorry, there was no plot. These days, a girl growing up trying to find her kidnapped father doesnt count as a plot. I could write a script about pink monkeys talking in indian fighting robots and itd be more interesting than this.
Vega died in 30 seconds (its not a spoiler, hes a bad guy, so we all know he'll die. The only question was how and how long it would take) , and chun li could do hadoukens, which were really really cheap looking.
I can see why Life! rated it 1/10.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Woah!
I think maybe Ive come along to admitting why I abhor him so. Hes like a shadow of my former self. Hes every bit as obstinate, egoistical, obnoxious as I was. He cant shut up. He says things that inadvertently hurt some people.
What I hate the most, is that how much I hate him is a measure of how much people used to hate ME. Maybe hate is too strong a word. But man, its like the past keeps rubbing salt into your wounds.
What I hate the most, is that how much I hate him is a measure of how much people used to hate ME. Maybe hate is too strong a word. But man, its like the past keeps rubbing salt into your wounds.
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