Alan

My boss's name is Alan
and his head's shaped like a melon.
But unlike the juicy fruit
we love, he's just a bloody toot.

I cant understand where he's coming
from, cuz he just cant come.
And its hard to be a winner,
when you just dont have a wiener!

But dont worry, I have a really great solution.
Its really easy and shouldnt add to your confusion.
It involves some laxatives to calm you down a bit,
and maybe afterwards you wont be so full of shit.