Virgin Clubbing

I shall start with skipping the dreary details of how we walked and turned back only to take the MRT to MOS (Ministry of Sound, the only ministry in singapore without a minister).

Allow the first scene to place us in front of huge burly malay bouncer who looked a tad like the wrestler Rikishi. We were whisked in, given those radioactive stamps on our arms that Im sure gamma radiated and killed a few million of my cells.

The main dance area played a mix of music, from like 80s I heard, all the way to today. They even played one remix of Disturbed's Shout 2k. I mean, its so weird that theyd do a less rock version of that song and add the "dook-dook-tak-dook-dook-dook-tak" rhythm to it and call it a club song. And talking about that, they pretty much take any song and add that repetitive rhythm to it and play it as dance music. The shout 2k wasnt THAT nice of a song when they converted to their club rendition of it, but at least it made me feel a little more welcome.

So we took a seat in a nice dark corner, which was perfect for hanky panky. Now we know why adults like these dark places huh? Yeah I mean, I AM an adult too, a small one, but w/e.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped into the club was that the music was loud, and thats a serious understatement because, I could feel a beating in my chest that wasnt my heart, I can tell you for sure, because if my heart could beat in that kinda rhythm I would probably be surrounded by the worlds top doctors doing surgery on me or something. The music kept thumping away at my chest and rattling my organs, and little did I know it had other effects as well, which I will explain later.

It started slow cuz we went early and the crowds wernt there yet, but fortunately my dance freak friend managed to drag me to the dance floor on the condition that she teach me dirty dancing! The basics were pretty each, I picked it up in less then 2 minutes. You simply go behind a girl, sway your ass in tandem with hers. If she doesnt appear to mind, you put your right hand on her waist area and the grinding (rubbing) should follow. Theoretically it sounds easy, but of course finding the courage to do it and more practical lessons are definitely needed to master it.

We went into the nigger room next which was all R&B which had this cage surrounding the dance floor. I hated the music, so I didnt dance, which was a good choice because as I stood outside the cage, there was this hot chick dancing sexy like, 5 centimeters away from me. So why dance when you have a free show up close? Roar haha!

I noticed too they had nice little lung-cancer rooms where the smokers could go kill themselves without having to spread their disease to the non-smokers, which was a nice touch.

The trance room was next, and there at least the music got me moving, but I had to stop after a while cuz my head was pounding in rhythm with the explosive beats. The vodka lime I had earlier didnt help either (it sucked btw, they overadded the alcohol; the lime was only barely taste-able).

Last up was the house room, where they played house music (duh) and not episodes of Dr Gregory House, thanks. On our way there we passed by the main area again, and they started playing this song and everyone cheered. I couldnt make out what song it was, so I turned to dor and asked her what the fuss was about. She didnt reply, but sang to me ,"Im so horny. Im so horny." When I saw/heard that I was like "wtf? Is she trying to say something to me?" Then 3 seconds later I realised that she was mouthing the song lyrics. It was that "Im so horny, horny horny horny" song >_<

Me and Im-so-horny-dor

So anywayssss, the house room had those nice circular ball seat thingies hanging from the ceiling that I love to sit on, so it was a great place to rest my violently pulsating head.

Ball thingies that hang from the wall

We went home soon after. Luckily I stopped drinking when I did cuz I nearly puked on jen on the cab home, but the headache, oh God it was just so bad.

Me and Jen

Im so never going back there, my brain was not meant for that sort of abuse. But besides that, it wasnt as bad as jen put it. I didnt HATE that place, just the lack of my type of heavy rock music. Not sure if there ARE any of those type of clubs in singapore.