Death And Disaster

So some singaporean got her ass handed to her in India by militants, cuz she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I cant help but wonder, like I did with Princess D when I was a kid, "So What?"

Its like a huge majority of singaporeans are so devastated that they troll the forums dishing out messages of condolences. Maybe theyre just pretending... I dunno.

Why is it that a single persons death can send the hearts of people spiraling into such ostensible sadness, when dozens of other people are still dying of starvation and disease every second dont even get 5 seconds of our thoughts? Maybe its the circumstance of the death huh. If a thousand people die of aids, hey its no big deal, its been happening for so long, and they probably deserved to die anyway. But if you were the ONLY SINGAPOREAN to get killed by TERRORISTS, then thats a different story! How many people have the honour to get fragged by them? w00t!

Or maybe stalin was right. One persons death really can be made out to look like the end of the world. Look at jeebus haha! But what about the poor old woman who breathes her last breathe all alone, uncared for, in the silence of the four walls surrounding her? Is that not a tragedy? Or is it just cuz theres no media coverage for her that we allow the knowledge of her death to slowly slink away into memorial oblivion?

So really, at the end of the day, so what?

Purple Dinosaur

I did my NAPFA (IPPT) test with a cough and a running nose and was 13 seconds short of a silver still. This, coming 3 months after I used to run 2.4km with a 15 minute timing.

You may bow to me if you wish. =D

I couldnt wait to get my soya bean milk when I booked out, and the chinese speaking counter woman asked me if I would like some pain cakes to go along with my drink and I said no I wouldnt like any pain cakes.

*****

Went to hudas bday party last week, which was extravagantly done, and even that in itself is an understatement. There were so many people there that it felt like I was gatecrashing a strangers' party. Not that I mind, because I love observing people; theyre like rats in a cage sometimes.

A few of the people I expected to come didnt make it, and because I think a lot about everything, I started thinking that, what if, at the end of the day you are just a passing phase in someones life?

Like, you come into my life for 6/4/3 years while I study, and after Ive achieved that qualification, or whatever else may be the case, I leave and there you go too. All we see of each other thereafter is our MSN nicks.

Who do you know is really there for you? Who has etched your face on the walls of his/her heart?

No, Im not trying to say anything, point fingers at anyone or whatever your minuscule mind can conceive. Im what-iffing, which happens to be one of my hobbies. ^^

So, what if?

Goodbye. No Really, GOOD-BYE

I just finished my situational test, screwing up just enough to make the cut into the specialist course, or at least thats what I think. And thatll be the last Ill see of the jungle in hopefully a month at least. Itll also be the last I see of my platoon; good riddance to most of the people there, and especially good riddance to NK (for being a crybaby and taking credit for things he didnt do, which he apparently has been doing since time immemorial) , RPH (for being the most irritating little rat Ive ever come across) , VCE (for his naivete in thinking hes above the rules, and being a wayang babi) , MK (for his inability to shut up and for constantly thinking out loud as though people actually cared) and RJ (for repeating what everyone says at least once, and being the person with the lowest EQ Ive ever met).

Hmm.

Very soon this tiny sub-chapter of my life will pass, and another will begin just as quickly as this one started.

A Curse Upon You

Damn that stupid malay man always goes into the lift with his cigarette and stinks the lift up I have to hold my breath for 5 floors.

Ive been waiting about a year for him to get lung cancer, but hes such a bitch he doesnt wanna lie down and die.

Dammit.

Field Camp

Is inhuman. I cant remember how many times me and my buddy would look at each other with a blank stare in our eyes and say, "This is inhuman, buddy."

And it really is. Away from all your creature comforts, you are stripped to the very person that you are. Theres no pretending to be someone else, because youre trying so hard to stay alive, why bother to care what others think of you?

Its raining now. Oh God, the rain. It rained every single fucking day that we were in that godforsaken jungle. Sometimes it even rained 3 times a day. Then they make you stand in the rain till youre soaked to the bone, and when the rain stops, they make you lie down on the mud to soak up the shit with your underwear.

Have you ever done sit ups on a gravel paved road after the rain?

How about without your shirt on?

Now with all that filth clinging on to you like pestilential glue, you go to sleep. You throw a mat over the forest floor and sleep on top of the mud, together with ants, grasshoppers and the rest of the myriad of flora and fauna of the jungle.

The mat doesnt make much of a difference though, since the mud somehow leaks onto the sheet anyway. And as the night grows more and more frigid, you place your face on your muddy sleeve, the cleanest pillow you have. You fall asleep, but the bliss doesnt last long. The glacial temperatures wake you up in the middle of the night, and you peer into an abyss of darkness, feeling all alone. Then after an eternity shivering, you realise that, it is because you ARE alone.

Your futile attempts to ignore your piss smelling uniform and the cold finally bear fruit when you fall asleep, only to be awoken one hour later to go through the same vicious cycle of agony. When dawn finally breaks, theres still no sun to brighten up the place. Your every move brings you to new heights of pain as your skin makes contact with your icy clothes, like its stabbing you.

This is the longest night in your life.

And Ive had five of those nights.

Heh.

I think I saw the sarge major at sun plaza! Omg he lives in sembawang! Next time must behave even when Im near my house. Basket.

Field camps coming up soon, and Ill have to live in the wilderness with some of the most annoying people ever created. Its not that theyre stupid, most of them are actually pretty clever when it comes to studying and all that jazz, its just that when it comes to being street-smart and just going about their lives in general, they can be really retarded.

And then theres also my fear of falling sick. Thats got to be like, my biggest fear. Oh wells...

Of Grenades And The Lost

The past week wasnt that bad, honestly. I met up with a few friends, and one very special person. Its always emotionally soothing when you find that someone youd once give the world for is still alive and well. And youd know that the things Ive said before, again and again still stands. That is, Im STILL here for you. Im only a call away.

And not forgetting catching up with yet another special person to tie up some loose ends. Hah, I somehow always find it amusing that the people I give a shit about are usually surprised to find that I do in fact care, and would actually show that I did! Hahaha!

*****

Live grenade throwing was fun! From the training shed 100 meters away, when we heard the first grenade go off, it was like ,"Omg are they throwing grenades or fucking nukes?"

I swear, the explosion is like the deep growl of an angry god. Its no where like in counterstrike, with big flames and fire and bullshit, but much more like in tom clancys Rainbow Six, where theres a sharp crack like lightning followed by the reverberation of the thunder throughout the forested area.

It has to be the biggest pity that there was no blind (a sorta dud grenade that didnt explode) cuz if there was the boom-boom specialists would take out C4 to blow the blind up.

And that would have been an even bigger boom.

Damn.